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Getting older

jeeeensy

Well-Known Member
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards OLDER Age!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15 .. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Take note Waff :)
 
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hi paul
i know im getting old when i stop chasing fast women and chase their mums
 
Problem is when i catch them i forgotten what i was supposed to do
 
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes". :bigsmile:
 
Very good i like that one , waffy could do with that idea after hes had a few sherberts
 
Very good i like that one , waffy could do with that idea after hes had a few sherberts


:bigsmile::bigsmile: :tinysmile_tongue_t:

Oh dont worry about old waff in that department!
maybe when im that geezer in the jokes age!

best

W
 
hi paul
i wondered when you would take the bait , im off to bed in a minute chasing these grannies is tireing me out
Steve
 
hi paul
i wondered when you would take the bait , im off to bed in a minute chasing these grannies is tireing me out
Steve


:tinysmile_tongue_t:

Im trying to think of some jokes that aren`t too much for the delicate ears of our esteemed members.:tinysmile_twink_t:

waff
 
50+

We have a pub not far from here that mostly caters to the 50+ set. It is called Chickies "home of warm beer and cold women"
 
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