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  1. #1
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    If you go down the woods today

    If you go down the woods today ... (survival training joke)

    The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and police man waff decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the directing staff tell them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls.....

    First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes.
    "Excellent!" remarks one of the instructors.

    Next up - the Para 's. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
    "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; good effort", says the instructor.

    Lastly, in goes waff, walking slowly, hands behind his back whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an eternity, he emerges escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
    "What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the course director, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!".
    So back he goes. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by waff, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.
    "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate instructor.
    waff nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:
    "Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"

    from bazooka chris

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    I am guessing you missed this post then waff ? Lol

    from bazooka chris

  3. #3
    18pounder
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    Quote Originally Posted by bazooka chris View Post
    I am guessing you missed this post then waff ? Lol

    from bazooka chris
    naa he probly didnt get the joke!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Lancashire,England
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    yeah,yeah.

    waff

 

 

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