jeeeensy
Well-Known Member
The Dingles were unable to conceive children anddecided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Dingle kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now;The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later,There’s a knock on the door. Ratt,,ta,,tat,,tat
Good morning, Missus", Waff said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Dingles cut in,embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said Waff. "Well,that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn'twork out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Missus, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions , I'm sure you'll be pleased ."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Dingles.
"Missus, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Dingles quietly.
Waff opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Dingles exclaimed, grasping at her throat."And these twins turned out exceptionally well -when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Dingle.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Dingles, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", Waff replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush it. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Dingles leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh equipment?"
"It's true, Missus, yes. Well, if you're ready,I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Missus. I need to use a tripod to rest it on. It's much too big to be held in thehand very long."
Thud!!,,,Mrs. Dingle fainted.........
Just as Waffy made Mrs Dingle comfortable on the settee, there was a knock on the door, Knock Knock,,,who’s there…J
Waff opened the door and the man asked “Ah you must be Mr Dingle?”
“No” Waff replied
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“ I’m a Photographer of Children and was in the area cold calling for business”
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Dingle kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now;The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later,There’s a knock on the door. Ratt,,ta,,tat,,tat
Good morning, Missus", Waff said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Dingles cut in,embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said Waff. "Well,that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn'twork out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Missus, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions , I'm sure you'll be pleased ."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Dingles.
"Missus, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Dingles quietly.
Waff opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Dingles exclaimed, grasping at her throat."And these twins turned out exceptionally well -when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Dingle.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Dingles, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", Waff replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush it. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Dingles leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh equipment?"
"It's true, Missus, yes. Well, if you're ready,I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Missus. I need to use a tripod to rest it on. It's much too big to be held in thehand very long."
Thud!!,,,Mrs. Dingle fainted.........
Just as Waffy made Mrs Dingle comfortable on the settee, there was a knock on the door, Knock Knock,,,who’s there…J
Waff opened the door and the man asked “Ah you must be Mr Dingle?”
“No” Waff replied
:
:
:
:
::
:
:
:
:
:
:
“ I’m a Photographer of Children and was in the area cold calling for business”
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