jeeeensy
Well-Known Member
Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you never
will amount to anything other than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense
attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you never
will amount to anything other than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense
attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.