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My missus was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to me, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
INCOMMMMMMMING!"!!!!!!! And then the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
Sorry Waff ole chap ,, here one for you matey :))))
Saturday morning Waffy got up early and got quietly dressed, made lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage to go to the Pudsey Military Fair.
He grabbed his cycle and proceeded out of the garage and out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so Waffy backed up into the garage, turned on the radio he has in there to listen to when restoring fuses, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
Soooo,, he went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed & cuddled up to my missus’s back, now with a different plan other than going to Pudsy militaria fair J and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
His loving Missus replied, "Can you believe my stupid Fella’s is cycling to Pudsey Military Fair in that?"
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