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British Ordnance Collectors Network

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parrot stuff

There's this man, when he goes to work during the day has always suspected that his wife is messing around on him. He bounces his dilema off a friend and his friend tells him to go to a pet shop and get a parrot and put him in the bedroom and the parrot will letyou know what goes on in the bedroom when you're gone. So the guy goes to a pet shop and asks for a parrot. The pet shop owner says I have 1 parrot left but he has no legs. the man replies, how does he stay on the perch. The pet shop owner replies if you look you'll noitce that his prick is about a foot long. He simply coils this long prick of his around the perch and that works. The man says fine i'll take him. Well the man arrives home from work the next day and starts questioning the parrot. the parrot says RAAAAAK a strange man came over today. The man says what happened next? The parrot says RAAAAK they went to the bedroom. The man asks what happened next? The parrot says RAAAAK they ripped off their clothes. The man says what happened next? The parrot says RAAAAK I don't know, got a hard-on and fell off the perch!!
another parrot joke

There's this really fine single woman who just loves to bring different men home at night. Well she has this parrot whom every time she brings a different man home says RAAAAAK somebodys gonna get laid tonight. She's a tad embarrased over these words of her parrot so she visits her pet shoppe and asks the owner just what the problem is. He says, well it's obvious, you have a male parrot and he is hornier than a "two peckered goat". He adds that she needs to have a female parrot in the cage with him and all should be fine. she says GREAT i'll take one. The shop owner replies, I will have to order the female parrot, but in the mean time I will let you have a female owl as a loaner, he added that should work. She takes the lady owl home and puts her in the cage with the parrot. Well she brought another man home that night and the parrot says RAAAAAK somebodys gonna get laid tonight, the owl replies Who Who, the parrot says not you you ugly big eyed son of a bitch!!!!